For the last month I’ve been struggling with writer’s block, which is basically a block in my creative process. Part of it is the fact that we’re in the busy season at work and most of my time is in an office that is not a space for creativity. The other half is doubt, doubt in my own ability and questioning my own intentions of attempting to create. But in these small moments, I hear my inner child crying “Keep on keeping on!” Today while I rode into work, a homeless man was holding a sign outside of the bus stop that read “Don’t Give Up.” I tried making eye contact with him as I glided past for confirmation that the universe was speaking to me but this man was speaking to the universe. “Don’t Give Up“ rang in my head, bouncing with every groove in the road, as I continue on my way. In a sense, I do feel as if I have given up.
YouTube is upping the requirements for monetization and I have halted my own growth. When I see the notification, again I thought the universe was holding a sign outside of a bus stop.. “Don’t Give Up” but the thought of creating something different that expresses my own individuality has been a challenge. I am not in this for the money, I am in it to leave a lasting impact on whoever comes across my videos. A few months back, I quit CapCut and went to Premiere Pro; a software you could land a man on Mars with. It’s been this mind-aching experience of Age of Hero’s proportions. I could easily make voiceover videos or the common blogger style videos but where is the joy in that? Recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that I may need to gradually develop but just start up again. So that is what this is. I bring my iPad everywhere and read constantly, so why am I not writing? What I’ve learned through reading other authors is the only way to battle writer’s block is to write. Making videos is a whole other battle. I write everything I say in my videos, plot out the scenes, and do all the editing. The block is the non-results that come with growing a channel. Am I making a good enough product to release? Then you watch people who are treating it like the drug game. Pushing a bunch of stepped on work onto the street for screen addicted people. That is an evil I will not partake in. Our minds are to be cherished and if someone can’t learn from the ‘content,’ it shouldn’t be posted. These are the things I battle with but I think I have my personal remedy.
We’re at Denny’s off some random freeway in 2006. I’m sitting at the table telling some family members about what I’ve recently read in a book I stole from the library. It was on Ancient China, a culture that continues to fascinate me. My joy of delivering the information was killed by one sentence “Hush up, don’t know about wanna hear that right now.” Twenty years later, the world is going to actual shit. Humanity always has a bit of Chicken Little in us but I fully believe the sky is metaphorically falling. Don’t know nobody got time for YouTube videos on days long gone, no? Yet I just watched a multitude of bloggers monetize the Lil Durk situation with no regard for the state of the globe. We live in a world obbessed with celebrity and that curse just helped a criminal beat federal charges. Maybe John Gotti was right when he thought being a public Mafia don would shield him from the federal government.
Anyway, I’m back to writing. I’ll be posting my research on subjects here. First up? HERODOTUS!